


Big Bad Wolf Daddy

by edensgay (buckybarfs)



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: F/M, I swear, This is crack, but this is light hearted, cute brother bonding kinda, deputy calls him meatman, duh - Freeform, its jacob, jacob seed is emotionally stunted and you cant change my mind!, john seed tries to be a supportive brother, mention of john seeds ass, mention of torture and cages, slight nsfw in the second chapter, you will read this and go 'is it crack you smoke?'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 21:53:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17129399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybarfs/pseuds/edensgay
Summary: Jacob Seed realizes he has feelings for the Deputy, and well, he's not the most well adjusted person so he enlists some help from his brother to win her affections.





	1. Big Bad Wolf Daddy

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt from tumblr!

It’s John that points it out to him, his little brother bothering him while he tries to clean his guns in the garage in peace. He tells his little brother to get lost, trying to ignore the gleeful laugh that escapes John as he dances out of the reach of Jacob’s knife. After that it takes another week before Jacob accepts it.  
  
He has feelings for the Deputy.  
  
He doesn’t want to, but he  _does_.  
  
He spends another week trying to repress the feelings, trying his best to pretend they don’t exist. But the world has never been that kind to him, it has never allowed him anything. That week Rook sets her sights on the Whitetails, after finishing up a two week reign of terror in the Henbane.   
  
There’s always been a sort of banter between them, even when he does have her captive in a cage for brainwashing purposes. He’s always let her get away with more than he should, he’d rationalized it as him being so lenient because Joseph had declared her special or something. Now he realized that it was because he’d gone soft. Somewhere in there his little warrior had wiggled her way into a heart he’d fought against for so long.   
  
If Joseph would just let him finish her off, up her trials, something he would get the relief he craved. If he could be free of her all of this would go away, but instead he was complicit into his own torture. Watching her waste away in a cage wasn’t what hurt him, no, that he was doing for her, for them. It made her stronger, it was necessary, she had to be  _strong_.   
  
His torture was every time she escaped his grasp, when she would retreat to her precious Wolf Den or fuck off to somewhere else. Snippets of her radio conversations would sometimes make their way onto his radio, some of her conversations seemed too friendly for his tastes. The people of Hope County should not be so familiar with  _his_  deputy.  
  
“Tell me how.” He demands, stepping into his brothers bathroom, uninvited.   
  
John lets out a yelp, turning around in the shower in an attempt to hide. “ _Knocking_.” He seethes, stressing the word to make sure his brother understands it.

“Tell me how.” He repeats, he has no time for games. If he doesn’t do something about the Deputy soon he will spontaneously combust or burn something to the ground.

“You raise your fist and tap against the door.”  
  
Jacob ignores him, instead leaning on the bathroom counter and staring out the window above the tub. “Tell me how to talk to _her_.” He doesn’t care about his brothers nudity, he wiped John’s ass when he was little, when he joined the army he showered with dozens of other men. He’s seen worse, it doesn’t matter to him.  
  
His little brother is still pretty annoyed at the intrusion, washing his hair with exaggerated motions as he grumbles curses under his breath. “You talk. It’s not hard.”   
  
It is hard, for Jacob it is. The only normal conversations he has are with his family, and even then they’re few and far in between. There is no normalcy in his life, there never has been. He never dated, the women he slept with he didn’t have to talk to, he hadn’t done this before.   
  
She’s normal, her friends for the most part are normal, which is why Jacob is so frustrated. They’d had fine banter before his brother had pointed out his feelings, he and the Dep weren’t friends because of their circumstances but there had been opportunity. Now, when her voice floated over his radio he turned it off, ignoring her taunts.  
  
John must realize that he’d said something wrong because he sighs and turns the water off, stepping out of the shower and pulling a towel around his waist. Sometimes he feels like he’s the only one of his brothers who has any semi-normal real world experience, because, well, he is.   
  
“Give her a present, cook her a meal. Show her that you care instead of telling her.” Because, quite honestly, John knows his brother is not capable of being outright with his feelings. Due to the fact that for so many years he’s pretended he didn’t have any.  
  
John had given many women presents, he’d never cooked, instead opting for taking them out to an expensive meal. However, there were no places to go on a date in Hope County, the few food places were Resistance owned and would be less than welcoming to the idea of Jacob courting the Deputy.  
  
“Compliment her.”   
  
In his head John thinks,  _‘Don’t put her in a cage, I’m sure she’ll appreciate that.’_ But he doesn’t say it outloud, because that would be telling his brother to choose between his duty and a fleeting crush.   
  
Jacob nods thoughtfully before leaving without a word.  
  
Sometimes John feels underappreciated.  
  
He devises a plan, he will hunt for her and bring her food. Thus giving her a present and providing her with sustenance, plus showing her that he is a skilled hunter who is able to provide. Because that’s what women care about, right?  
  
He finds her in a small campsite, she’s spread out on a sleeping bag beside a small tent and fire somewhere up in the Whitetails. She doesn’t jump when he steps on a branch, purposefully alerting her to his presence, instead she opens one eye and squints up at his shadowed form. “Jacob Seed, what have I done to warrant the  _Big Bad Wolf Daddy_  himself coming after me?”   
  
He’d been thinking of what to say the entire time he tracked her steps. At one point he’d had a decent opener figured out, until she calls him Big Bad Wolf Daddy.  
  
“Meat.” Is all he says, throwing a wrapped parcel in her general direction without further explanation.  
  
Rook isn’t sure if that’s a threat or a promise, she’s almost afraid to open the tied shut brown paper bag. She sits up and reaches for it, pulling it into her lap as she warily eyes Jacob.  
  
“You know what a woman wants.” Rook lets out a low whistle, causing Jacob to roll his eyes. She cautiously pulls the twine off of the bag, wondering to herself if it was Jacob who’d tied such a pretty bow, and glances at the contents.   
  
She looks like she’s afraid that he’s cut off Pratts toe and gift wrapped it for her, the idea offends him. If anything he’d take a finger. “What is it?” His eyes narrow at her tone, it’s accusatory, he doesn’t like it.   
  
“Rabbit.” Jacob feels like a fucking caveman, but he can’t find it in him to say actual sentences.   
  
That doesn’t help.  
  
“This is, rabbit meat?” She asks, prodding in an attempt to get Jacob to say more than one word.  
  
“To eat.” He sounds annoyed now and Rook wonders what she’s done to deserve this, but at the very least he said more than one word.  
  
Jacob Seed is the most confusing man she has ever met. One week he’s locking her in a cage and forcing her to go days without food and water and now he’s bringing her freshly killed animals as if she’s a dumb human and he’s the cat burdened with feeding her.   
  
She doesn’t mean to offend him, but she does. “I can’t eat rabbit, I had one as a pet when I was little.” Rook gives him an apologetic smile, only to drop it when she sees his face darken.   
  
Jacob sighs and runs a hand down his face, of course this wouldn’t be easy. He wants to hate John in this moment, if not for John he would have continued to live his life ignorant to his feelings of the Deputy. If not for his little brother he wouldn’t be here, making an ass out of himself.  
  
“In a life or death situation you cannot be picky.” He watches as Rook fights off what might be an aneurysm, probably because he’d said a full sentence.  
  
She frowns at him, but there’s a teasing look in her eyes. “Is this a test?”   
  
“If it is you’re failing.” He answers without thinking about it, that wasn’t a compliment.   
  
Rook gasps in horror, her hand fluttering over her heart as she dramatically pretends she has been fatally wounded, or maybe just had bad heartburn. He isn’t sure, she’s a bad actress. “Have you ever spoken to a woman before?”  
  
“Are you a woman?” He should have written a script before, he should have John in the trees whisper what to say because he knows he’s fucking this up.  
  
Her eyes narrow, “You’re lucky you’re cute,  _meatman_.”   
  
He pauses, because he can only deal with one thing at a time right now. First off he deals with ‘ _meatman_ ’ wondering why he has gotten himself into a situation where the nickname  _meatman_  not only made sense, but was applicable. Secondly, did she call him cute? Jacob Seed was not cute, he was an old man, battle hardened and the leader of an army, he was a killing machine. That was like calling one of his judges cute.  
  
Then he recalled the Deputy laying on the dirt floor of her cage, petting a tired Judge to be through the bars, murmuring  _‘cute, cute. cute, cute.’_  to it.   
  
He wonders if she calls him cute in a derogatory way, in an attempt to humiliate him. “Never call me that again.” Because that’s all he can think to say, he is speaking of the ‘ _meatman_ ’ fiasco of course, he doesn’t even dignify the cute with a response.  
  
“Fine, then, be a spoilsport. See if I care,  _Wolf Daddy_.” She waves her hand nonchalantly, sticking her tongue out at him.  
  
He vehemently squashes the words that rise in his throat, fighting tooth and nail to keep himself from threatening to cut her tongue out. Because that is  _not what romance is about_ , he doesn’t need John to tell him that.  
  
“I’m flirting with you, by the way.” Those aren’t the words that expects to hear from her mouth, so if he suddenly looked like a deer in headlights it isn’t his fault.


	2. Reverse Angry Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rook and Jacob both have a plan to win the others heart, neither of them factored in how stupid they both are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a request for a sequel so here ya go!  
> This fic instills the same feeling in me as watching a cringe compilation. enjoy :)

Jacob had stopped at John’s again, he doesn’t know why he keeps coming to his little brother for advice when he knows it wont help a bit. All he knows is that after his second attempt at talking to the Deputy he needs an intervention.   
  
He’d stalked her through the woods again, this time following he’d followed her while she looted abandoned cabins. While she’d been picking up a jar of canned fruit he’d yelled at her that he needed to talk to her outside. Why outside? He wasn’t sure, he’d panicked. She’d been so terrified and surprised that she dropped the jar and glass went everywhere. In her haste to protect herself she’d spun around and slipped in the liquid, getting a shard of glass stuck in her ass.  
  
Jacob had turned on his heel and ran out of there before either of them had time to process what had happened.  
  
John’s advice this time? Do something spontaneous, something romantic and definitely get her a gift and then confess his feelings. A gift better than a bag of meat, yes, he’d actually specified that. He’d stressed that spontaneous didn’t mean scaring the hell out of her and perhaps knocking would be a good idea this time.  
  
So the plan was set, spontaneous, gift, confess. Simple. Three steps. Nobody could fuck it up. John had high hopes that his brother would do well, because,  _nobody could fuck that up_.  
  
Somehow, Jacob had interpreted that as sneaking into the Dep’s current place of residence with a rose bush he’d ripped from the ground. He’d knocked three times, waiting exactly four minutes to be safe, before he got worried. When he kicked open the door he paused, hearing music from upstairs. His rational mind reasoned that Rook hadn’t heard him because of the music. He grunted to himself as he headed towards the staircase, dirt dripping from the roots of the rose bush, leaving a trail throughout the house.   
  
When he got to the bedroom he dropped the bush on the ground, squinting at the room in confusion. There were candles on every possible surface, on the bed spelled out in flower petals were the words ‘breed me, daddy.’ When a soft body pressed against his back and hands covered his eyes he acted on instinct, and threw his elbow into the person’s stomach before turning around and connecting his fist to their eye socket.  
  
What happened next happened in slow motion, Jacob was powerless to stop as he watched what would only compare to a car crash. He wished he could look away, but some unknown force kept his feet nailed to the spot, unable to tear his eyes away.  
  
The person’s body flew backwards, thudding to the ground their head smacking into the wall. One of their arms reaching out to catch their fall while the other cradled their face. Their arm connected with a nearby table causing the candles on it to fall to the floor, their body dragged down the drapes above the window. The curtain rod smacking their head on it’s descent to the ground.  
  
“Son of a bitch!” It was Rook’s voice, and he had to fight the urge to run again. “What the  _fuck_?”   
  
The candles rolled towards the pile of curtains on the floor, the cheap material going up in flames instantaneously.   
  
Jacob did the only thing he could, stomp on the flaming pile of paisley until the fire went out, ignoring the injured Deputy on the ground. His foot hit something hard and he heard a crack followed by a pained howl escape Rook’s lips. She now held her hand to her chest, furious tears burning in her eyes.  
  
He felt the need to call an extraction team, maybe take her radio and call one of her friends who could take care of her and do something nice without hurting her.  
  
Once the fire was out and the immediate threat had disappeared he took a moment to get a good look at her. One of her eyes was already swelling up and her fingers bent in an odd direction. There was blood dripping from her foot, the droplets sliding around the rose thorn that had nestled itself into her flesh when she stumbled onto the bush before falling.   
  
Despite all of this what actually caught his eye was the bright red lingerie she wore, his favorite color and if Jacob hadn’t already felt like the worst he definitely did now. If he wasn’t busy fighting his flight response he might have felt some sense of attraction, instead his urge to run to the hills and disappear for all eternity ruined any semblance of arousal he may have at one point felt.  
  
The locals would tell the legend of Jacob Seed, a man who was so completely awful that one day he’d run into the mountains and was never seen again. How sometimes if you listened close enough you could hear his voice in the wind, asking why God had made him the way that he was.   
  
“Fuck.” He whispered, dropping to his knees to try to help her in anyway that he could. Knowing him he would somehow manage to stab her and call her ugly.   
  
“Who the fuck did you think I was?” The thought that he had attacked her in such a vicious manner because he thought maybe she was Eli trying to attack him brought additional tears to her eyes, the tears of humor mixing with the tears of searing pain.  
  
He shrugged, his hands reaching out to her and flailing in the air for a minute before falling to his sides. The meat loving wolf man exuded an air of helplessness. If his soldiers and the resistance could see him now this war would be over in an instant.  
  
“A bear, maybe.” He didn’t have the heart to tell her that there was no rhyme or reason to why he had attacked her without second thought. He was the worst, plain and simple.  
  
Rook wished he had thought she was Eli.  
  
“Ouch.” Not only was almost every part of her body bruised but her ego was too. There is nothing worse than thinking you’re some kind of sex kitten only for the person you’re trying to seduce telling you that they thought you were a bear.  
  
Most people, smart people, would have taken this as a sign. That this wasn’t written in the stars, that perhaps all of these accidents were divine intervention, telling them to do literally anything else, anyone else, other than each other. Rook and Jacob were not smart people, neither of them heard a voice telling them that this was a bad idea and if they did they turned a blind eye, pretending they hadn’t.  
  
Which is why at the end of the night Jacob lay in bed, relaxed and pleased with himself while Rook ran to the bathroom, furiously blowing her nose trying to get the salty substance out of her nasal passages. Sharky would later inform her that Jacob had performed what he called a Reverse Angry Dragon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback,,,,,,,,,,,,please

**Author's Note:**

> i love feedback so much i eat it!


End file.
